The ABC's of Intentional Parenting

Here's the episode we did for NBC's KC Live show this week on intentional parenting.  I promised the viewers that I would provide them a download to the pictures we referenced in the show. Watch the segment here and then download the files...

The below charts are from the book Orange, by Reggie Joyner.  They highlight the amount of time kids spend at church (approx. 40 hours a year) verses the amount of time kids spend at home (approx. 3,000 hours).  It's a powerful visual.  I think you'll agree.  

This is the IF-THEN chart that we sometimes use (mostly when the kiddos were little).  It helps keep the consequences clear and allows us parents to stick to them, not deviate when we don't "feel" like keeping our words.     Here are the ABC's of Intentional Parenting... A – Availability   Children spell love T.I.M.E.  It is imperative that you make yourself available to them.  The key with this is that it’s uninterrupted quality time.  It’s not just time when you are PRESENT, but that you’re ACTIVELY ENGAGED.    Everyone knows the difference between someone who is physically present and emotionally / mentally DISENGAGED.    The 4 Times of Opportunity:             Morning Time             Drive Time             Meal Time             Bed Time               B – Boundaries   Do you have clear boundaries?    I always say that it’s easier to put a fence at the top of the mountain than a hospital at the bottom.    C – Consequences   Here’s something that we all struggle with.  Setting clearly defined consequences and STICKING to them!    If you’re struggling with this, use the IF-THEN chart.  Put it on your fridge and let your kids see the consequences of their actions.  Then don't give in to their cries to change the consequences - no matter how tempting it will be!     Stay tuned for the next episode where we dive into D, E and F of intentional parenting!  

This is the IF-THEN chart that we sometimes use (mostly when the kiddos were little).  It helps keep the consequences clear and allows us parents to stick to them, not deviate when we don't "feel" like keeping our words.  

 

Here are the ABC's of Intentional Parenting...

A – Availability

 

Children spell love T.I.M.E.  It is imperative that you make yourself available to them.  The key with this is that it’s uninterrupted quality time.  It’s not just time when you are PRESENT, but that you’re ACTIVELY ENGAGED. 

 

Everyone knows the difference between someone who is physically present and emotionally / mentally DISENGAGED. 

 

The 4 Times of Opportunity:

            Morning Time

            Drive Time

            Meal Time

            Bed Time

           

 

B – Boundaries

 

Do you have clear boundaries? 

 

I always say that it’s easier to put a fence at the top of the mountain than a hospital at the bottom. 

 

C – Consequences

 

Here’s something that we all struggle with.  Setting clearly defined consequences and STICKING to them! 

 

If you’re struggling with this, use the IF-THEN chart.  Put it on your fridge and let your kids see the consequences of their actions.  Then don't give in to their cries to change the consequences - no matter how tempting it will be!  

 

Stay tuned for the next episode where we dive into D, E and F of intentional parenting!